I knew for this series I wanted to take some time to process and write about pursuing my husband. In the rush and care of little ones, my husband is often put last. And that is not the way it should be. My relationship with him should be one of the highest priorities (second only to my relationship with God). As I talked about on Monday, “Wife” is my second priority of all my roles. 1) Daughter of God, 2) Wife, 3) Mother/Educator, 4) Leading Lady in the church, 5) Homemaker, 6) Friend, and 7) Doula/Blogger. If you want to read more of the details of my roles, check out this post.
Back to pursuing my husband.
Since a good marriage doesn’t just happen, I need to put the thought, care, and time into working on my relationship with him. I have to be intentionally working on it. One way I can intentionally work on it is to become a student of my husband all over again.
Remember in the early days of dating?
If you were like me, in the early days of dating you were still getting to know your “boyfriend.” You were ever watchful of him. You wanted to see what he liked, what he didn’t like. You listened intently to his words. You made a mental note of what you wanted to buy for his birthday months in advance. You tried to encourage him whenever you could and you were his biggest cheerleader.
Now, 6 years later (for me), my husband has changed as a person and I have changed as a person. I want to make it my goal to seek out to learn who he is as a person again.
I want to be the person that knows him best.
I want to pay attention to him every time he talks. I want to know what he likes best and what he doesn’t like. I want to be his biggest cheerleader. I want to take the time to encourage him in every way I can!!
I want to write him love notes weekly.
This is something that Crystal Paine does for her husband and it is a great challenge for me to take on! I love her response to why she writes him weekly love notes. I know my husband’s love language is words, so by doing this I’m speaking to him in the best way possible that I love and respect him!
What can you do to pursue your husband?
Treating our husbands with respect (as we first did when we were dating) has a dual impact. Not only will they start treating you with a higher regard, you will also be emulating what God designed for marriage. The husband to love the wife and the wife to respect the husband. Again, a good marriage doesn’t just happen, it takes being intentional about the relationship.
Next week I’ll be talking about communication in marriage – the biggest struggle for me!