If the Doula was not there… No one would

posted in: Doula | 0

It’s true that many times no one notices what the doula does; they only notice if she’s not there. The professional doula often works in the background.

So if the doula was not there…no one would:


  • Shut the door
  • Offer you water
  • Remind you what questions you wanted to ask
  • Repeat what was said to you during a contraction
  • Bring an extra unused chapstick
  • Make sure you are covered with the blanket without a draft
  • Shut the door again
  • Persevere until we find just the right spot
  • Set up battery-powered candles right where you want them
  • Help the nurse get to you know better
  • Repeat your visualization with each contraction
  • Have your comfort as the first priority
  • Shut the door again
  • Take notes for the timing of everything that happened at the labor and birth
  • Time your contractions
  • Remind you to breathe
  • Share in your emotion
  • Step back for you to enjoy some really precious moments
  • Listen to you
  • Be attune to the room temperature
  • Pack extra snacks
  • Hold your hand
  • Be calm
  • Be the extra pair of hands
  • Stay quiet
  • Straddle a tub to apply counter pressure with each contraction
  • Bring an extra toothbrush or two
  • Always have a water bottle on hand
    Doing lunges before getting in the tub.
    Doing lunges before getting in the tub.
  • Do the lunges with you
  • Anticipate what you need
  • Make sure your loved ones are informed
  • Is the buffer between you and loved ones approaching too soon
    • Give your partner a break
  • Believe in YOU
  • Arrange the room the way you want it
  • Remind your partner to eat
  • Keep the focus on you
  • Help your partner to know when NOT to ask questions or talk to you
  • Remind you that you can say “no” or “not now”
  • Be there for you the whole time
  • Remember to fetch the baby book
  • Bring bendy straws
  • Support dad


Be your doula


Of course, doulas do more that what is on this list – for example: offer comfort measures, breastfeeding tips, encourage you, etc. But most of the things on this list are the things doulas uniquely bring to the labor room. The small things that no one else pays attention to. A doula is there to pay the most attention to the mother – to mother the mother.

A doula is there to mother the mother. Click To Tweet

That’s why I love being a doula. I’ve been where the laboring mother is before and I know what I NEEDED in the moment. I’m excited to get to know others well enough to care for them in the way they need as well. I’m excited to pamper other laboring women the way I was pampered.